Month: March 2019

Family, Farmhouse

Marriage Proofing Your House.

Sam

Has anyone told you that building a house is tough? Or that it really tests a marriage?

If you haven’t heard this before let me be the first to mention it to you. And if you have heard it let me serve as confirmation of this information. Building a house will be tough on your relationship. 

In fact, want to know what I am doing right now? I am holed up in my room, listening to a marriage sermon that my friend sent me, and I am sulking. Kyle and I had a big fight last night. Like one that ended in me driving around for 3 hours with a stop at Walmart at 1 am with my PJ’s on. I am super dramatic like that.

Want to know what the fight was about? Our house. I am frustrated and upset that we are 6 months into our build and we still do not have our septic in and we’ve been on a waiting list to get it in for almost a year.

Actually, I am just frustrated (period).

The thing is, when building a house it gets frustrating a lot. You’ll get frustrated that it is taking too long, something comes in over budget, a subcontractor messed something up, you have to pre-plan out all these things and you are afraid you might forget something, or you have to make a choice on wood flooring and the choice you want doesn’t work out so you have to go with something else that you aren’t quite as satisfied with…….. and the list goes on and on.

I have only been married 10 years and I don’t think I am qualified to offer any marriage advice. 1) because when we fight I do things like go to Walmart at 1 am because I am throwing a hissy fit and 2) Kyle and I haven’t really been faced with any big complications in our time of being married. But if it is OK with you I’d like to walk you through a few things that might help you if/or when you might build a house. And mostly because I need a list to refer back when these “house” fights happen again…… because they will.

  • Reach out to the one or two friends who value marriage and relationships. You know who they are. Bonus points if they too have built a house together or even tried to plan a simple home improvement project. They are the ones who won’t ever say a negative thing about your spouse even when you are saying ALL the negative things. They are the friends who listen, pray for you, and then send you sermons to listen to. They aren’t judging you and saying “what a terrible marriage you have or you should be more like my perfect marriage”. No, these friends are telling you that you are just frustrated and offering to go to McDonalds at 10 pm once the kids are asleep just so you can throw a pity party over a McFlurry.

 

  • You have to look at your spouse through the lens of LOVE. There are gonna be some tough times. I can’t tell you what those tough times are. For me it is because I want it to stop raining so we can put a septic tank in. Yours might be because your husband can’t tell that there is an OBVIOUS off color piece of flooring in the middle of your living room….. wait no that’s me too. You need to remember some basic facts: your spouse is not error free, they need as much grace as you do, and when you stop looking at them as a child of God and instead as someone whose letting you down- you will fail. Your marriage will fail. Your family will fail. (Note to future self: listen to this sermon when this happens: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QSJSjNQM68)

 

  • Separate the truth from lies. During this current fight; I am not mad at Kyle, I am mad because our septic is not in and I am still living with my dad in a house that isn’t mine. I am frustrated at our circumstances right now. The truth is that Kyle feels the same way I do but expresses it differently. The lie is that I sometimes get so worked up that I think Kyle can control things that are really out of his control: like the weather. I know it sounds dumb, but honestly during this build I had to remind myself a lot that we were at the mercy of different contractors and the weather… both things that we can’t control. And the biggest truth I had to remember is that we still have the same goal in the end.

 

  • Marriage differences are tough. That might be the most underrated sentence I have ever spoke. Kyle and I are different on so many levels. He’s focused on the structure of our house like the electric and wouldn’t help on selecting what color we should paint the walls. He likes the hot hot summer and I look better in layers in the winter. He is so laid back that at times it comes across like he doesn’t care and I am such a hot head that I jump to conclusions. It’s not easy being so vastly different. Sometimes we can’t see where the other one is coming from and it leads to frustration. It’s during these times that I just have to embrace our differences and be thankful. I have to look at them as an opportunity to grow and widen my view. I have to embrace that differences mean that we are being thorough and that it brings diversity to our relationship. I cannot let the differences divide us. Because again when that happens things in our relationship start to fail, like communication.

 

  • You are not justified. This is really important. When I am mad at Kyle or hurt by really anyone who I have a close relationship with I can really easily fall into a hole where I feel wronged. But we are called to stay humble. And we need to get humble fast. I can perfectly recall a lot of the things that I have gotten mad about over the past 10 years with Kyle. He can’t. It isn’t because I haven’t made my fair share of mistakes- probably even worse than his ever were. It is because he has a terrible memory. But jokes aside you will need grace at one point in time in your relationship. Extend the type of grace that you hope to get when you mess up.

 

This isn’t my way of saying I have this marriage thing figured out or that I resolve conflict really well. I am so far from that. I just want you to know that building a house is not for the faint of heart and it will be tough- even for those of you who have a pretty strong relationship. I also want to tell you that the house you are building is not worth a broken relationship. And in case you need to be reminded……….. your spouse cannot control the weather so that it stops raining so you can put in a stupid septic tank.

Farmhouse

You need a Builder’s Contract?

Sam

So as some of you might know from my other posts, we decided to be our own General Contractor and we choose a Builder who although did quality work, wasn’t exactly on the up and up for legal contracts and such. Not in a “trying to evade the law” type of way, he just builds quality houses and his word is something he takes more value in than a contract. In fact, when doing loan draws and such, we had to omit the language “I solemnly swear” because it went against his beliefs. Anyways……. so when our bank said we had to have a contract vs. a hand written out sheet of notebook paper that our builder provided us as our “quote”, we weren’t really surprised and even a little relived that our house would have some type of paperwork aside from a loose leaf piece of paper and a handshake.

However, our Bank wouldn’t supply a sample contract and we were the general contractors so it was up to us to figure out what a builder’s contract even looked like.

After some Google research I found a few samples all of which I borrowed from (so this isn’t my own original content), and I also had to modify to apply to 1) us building on our own lot 2) agreement from our Builder that once he signed it he would uphold it and 3) that we were building in Ohio (different states have different regulations).

I want this site to be a 1 stop shop for all your building questions, so I want to provide you with my modified sample of the contract that our Builder and our Bank accepted. HOWEVER…… this is meant to be an example only. I am in no way a lawyer nor is it my intent to provide you something that you haven’t completely vetted with your legal counsel that you intend to use as a legal contract. So again, DISCLAIMER: FOR EXAMPLE PURPOSES ONLY. I’m in no way responsible if you decide to use this to submit to your Bank/Builder.

Instead I just want you to see some of the categories and typical language in these type of contracts. For example: “the draw schedule” is a really nice table to compare to your contract to see if it lines up. Or it is nice to see the clause that the Builder isn’t responsible for weather delays is a typical statement.

I think this gives you one reference to make sure your contract isn’t missing anything, but I also encourage you to have a lawyer look this over and look at other contracts.

BUILDING CONTRACT (EXAMPLE ONLY)

 

 

Faith

The Rich Fool

Sam

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

Because writing this blog has been like ripping off a band-aid…. I thought why not just add one more confession to the never ending list of things I have (sometimes still do) struggle with. I am not sure how to gently glide into this subject- so instead I am just going to share a story with you…..

So, my dad used to own about 55 acres that he inherited, this was half of the entire farm my grandma and grandpa owned before they passed away. It was where I spent a majority of my childhood. It has a creek in the back, hills, pasture fields, crops, wild blackberry bushes, and some of the best memories of when I was a kid.

At one point it was my dad’s dream to build there- but life just didn’t give him that opportunity. He was always generous with the land though and at one point offered Kyle and I some land to build on around the same time we bought our first house. We weren’t in the position financially that we could build at that point so we instead bought a house closer to where my husband worked and realized that was the area God was calling us to.

Fast forward a few years and we were at a point where we were deciding what do to about our house. We were constantly looking at houses and just trying to figure out what was next for our family. My older brother was at this point too and he had settled on building. His kids were going to the school district the land my dad owned was in, and my brother had the same dream as my dad to build on the property that had been in our family for generations. So my dad gifted him all 55 acres. My dad asked me first if I’d be mad about it. But my brother and I had seen families divided over inheritances and we promised we wouldn’t do that.

To recap:

  • We were offered the land at one point in time.
  • It wasn’t in the school district or area where it made sense for us to build.
  • My brother actually wanted the land so he could use it.

So between the pact I made with my brother and the fact that I never fully intended to do anything with the land I said it didn’t bother me. Guess what? It did bother me. Oh and what’s more it escalated even further with every update I received on the gorgeous house my brother was building.

My jealousy quickly turned to every evil practice- like James so wisely points out in the Bible. I started judging my brother, I’d turn my nose up to certain things he did, and I gossiped and let more than one person know all of this. In fact, a decent amount of my friends sympathized and agreed with me. I was being wronged.

I let this irrational jealousy that my brother got something I didn’t build up to a point that I was angry at my brother (who did nothing wrong) and my dad (who also did nothing wrong). I wasn’t entitled to that land, my dad could do whatever he wanted with it.  And my brother was just doing what was best for his family- something I should want because they were my family too.

Finally, I was kind of at a boiling point and I yelled at my dad at Skyline- the place we go after church every Sunday, because he had the audacity to tell me I was acting jealous. Once we were in the car Kyle told me I had to let it go. What was done was done, and that our family (Kyle, the boys, and I) were going to be OK no matter if we had that land or not. FYI, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

Usually, at the first sign of trouble you should go to God. Actually, at the sign of joy, sorrow, trouble or just because it’s a Tuesday you should go to God. But I was so deep in my jealous rampage and I didn’t want to hear what God had to say so He was the last person I turned to. But after my hissy fit in Skyline and pouting on the ride home because Kyle didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear I decided that I would try to stop being jealous. I wish you could see me writing this because you’d know that the “try” I am talking about includes deep sighs and eye rolling.

However, God is really good to me. He truly chases after me and tries to herd me back into His flock when I go astray. Because the next week (post dramatic Skyline meltdown) I was in charge of teaching Sunday School at church and the story our curriculum said I had to teach was Luke 12:13-21. I wasn’t familiar with this parable so maybe you aren’t either- let me just tell you what the first verse is…

Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”

The name of this parable is called The Rich Fool. I have tears in my eyes telling you all this. Guys, I am such a rich fool. I have an abundance of things, material things that mean nothing. And I have real things that mean everything. I have a husband who guides me daily to be a better person. I have kids who are witty and loving- ones who ask me for 6 hugs a day then after I give them those 6 hugs they tell me they meant 7 hugs. I have a career that I still pinch myself that I was given. I have the best friends- even ones who are nice enough to feel wronged for me! I have family (biological, adopted, and married into) that show me everyday how much they love me and give me unconditional support.

To think that at one point I was letting my jealousy of something material like land get in the way of some of the most important relationships in my life: with my dad and my brother and most importantly God. I can’t help but know that if I was in the crowd that day with Jesus he would have yelled at me that I was being foolish. That I wasn’t concentrating on what really mattered and was instead giving into greed. Thankfully, through His grace I was given yet another chance to put away my jealousy and just rely on Him. He gave my heart comfort and he gave me peace. In fact, verse 17 in James 3 that I shared at the beginning of this post continues on and says “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”

Maybe you aren’t struggling with jealousy over land, or maybe you don’t even struggle with jealousy at all. But is there something on your heart right now that you just can’t shake? An offense that you keep bringing up? Let me save you from an awkward Skyline temper tantrum; God can replace your jealousy, envy, or whatever offense you carry and give you hope, peace, and a love that is full of mercy. I don’t know about you, but I am trying to get better at taking Him up on His offer.

Faith

The Devil’s in the Detail.

Sam

Have you ever heard this saying before? I guess it means that something might seem really easy at first but when you dive into it, it’s actually more complex than you thought and within those complexities are where issues or the “devil” resides.

You know….. I have never really related much to that phrase because I love details. That’s where I thrive. To come up with an idea is so painstaking for me. I am not very creative, but man, you give me an idea and ask me to make it happen- that is right up my alley!

That is one reason I love Pinterest so much. There are a million posts on how someone came up with these super clever life hacks- that honestly make me question some things-like I’ve had long hair almost my entire life and never once thought “you know it would be a good idea to put a pony tail holder on the end of the vacuum hose and suck my hair up in it”………. anyways like I said I would never ever think to do half the creative things they think up. But now that someone else has came up with the idea I love to pick apart the details and apply it to my life, and in rare cases even improve upon it.

So although I don’t really get why someone would think the details are hard, I do think the Devil is in the details in another way.

Have you ever been going to sleep and all of a sudden you start thinking about the one time someone gave you a gift and you said the rudest thing ever in reply vs. thank you? Hmmmm…… or you remember one of those embarrassing times you called someone the wrong name and not only did you call them the wrong name but others started calling them that wrong name too? Have you went back to your college to give soon to be graduates advice and totally bombed it, then remember every stupid thing you said for the next 5 years? Yeah. I can vividly remember, in perfect detail– and I have a feeling you can too- a lot of embarrassing things we have done in the past. Things that bring us shame. Things that makes us not want to get out of bed.  Or in my case lead to an unhealthy amount of late night infomercial watching because of insomnia.

It’s kind of interesting to me that all the past memories that keep me up at night, the ones that pop up when I really don’t want them to, are always bad memories for me. I honestly can’t think of a time (recently) where out of the blue I remembered something amazing I did. Or something that makes me proud of myself. I mean, I know I do things that are “good” but I usually don’t focus on that. Usually if I see a picture or video or something else visually that reminds me of my accomplishments it jogs my memory and I smile. But to just be going to bed at night and something good pops into my head? Yeah, no, that doesn’t happen.

I’m going to be honest and call it out for what it is. I think it’s the Devil. I think for me, this is where the Devil’s in the details.

He is so good at making us feel shame. He is so good at reminding us that we should feel embarrassment. He literally makes us focus on and remember all the terrible things we’ve done and tells us that “This is who you are. The person who does embarrassing things- that is you.” and what’s more for me he usually also follows it up with “This is who other people think you are too. An awkward, embarrassing, insecure, loud, obnoxious, over-weight loser”.

I’m not going to lie. This kind of makes me mad at myself. I feel like I try to guard my heart so the Devil doesn’t have a foothold. I love God. I want no part of the Devil….. and yet he’s here and he wrecks havoc on my identity and self esteem. Sometimes to the point of physical health problems like anxiety or insomnia.

I really struggle with this. I’m trying to get better, without the use of melatonin, so that I can be more content like God calls me to be. I haven’t found the cure all but I know these few things have helped:

  1. Calling it out. I am a firm believer that the Devil is real and that his real power lies in the way he manipulates us without us even knowing it. So for me, calling him out, and denouncing him is helpful. I do this when he encourages me to be fearful too. I just tell him that my God is bigger.
  2. Praying. God is more powerful than the Devil. You have the ultimate weapon against the Devil and his manipulation. Use it.
  3. Get some back up. I was just talking about this with my small group tonight. We were all saying about how amazing it is to have others that hold you accountable and also encourage you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reached out to them and they’ve built me up, validated my feelings, but told me that I wasn’t allowed to stay in that mindset.

So something interesting I found out when I began to write this post. According to Wikipedia (I’m not a student anymore so this is a legit source to me), the saying the “Devil’s in the details” actually derives from an older saying “God’s in the Details”. What a more comforting saying. I am not sure if you too lay awake and think of every embarrassing moment you’ve had since you were 4 like me, but please know this; we can decide to let God take care of our details. He will tell us that our identity doesn’t lie in all the things that the Devil tries to make us believe about ourselves. The detail God wants us to know is that we are His and we are loved. And that’s a detail that can help me sleep a little better.

Farmhouse

Building Timeline

Sam

So here’s the deal. I am going to give you an actual check list of what order things are typically done when building. But I need you to know that building a house is dependent on………. weather, humans, and where you are building. Which means that if you have terrible weather (thank you Ohio) this list might change and timing might be adjusted. And because building is so dependent on sub-contractors, if one is running behind it can mess up timing of other things too. Also, depending on where you live this list can have things it is missing or things that need to be added to it (i.e. a structural engineer stamp or added township inspections).

Also, I know you know this but planning is key. I highly suggest you read First Things First: Building a House. This list is really for after you have your land secured and builder selected. Also, because I am super nice if you want this in a PDF list scroll to the bottom.

  • Address
    • Through Township- Our township trustees are only there a few times/hours a month, but we got it approved the day we took it
    • Also register mail address with USPS- took a few weeks
  • Driveway Permit
    • Through ODOT (Ohio Dept. of Transportation because we built on a State road)
    • Ours came within a week
  • Soil Samples
    • Took about a month
  • Site Survey/Septic Design
    • We gave a set of plans we drew up that showed approx. footage off the road, size of house, angle of house, etc.
    • They used this for official plans which was sent to the Septic Designer who overlaid Septic Plans
    • Site Survey said 6 weeks out but took more like 8 weeks- dependent on how backed up your contractor is
    • Once the Septic Designer got the Site Survey and soil results this only took a few weeks
  • House Plans (working on at the same time as septic etc.)
    • This took almost 10 weeks and I had to stay on top of them
    • We did not have to have an engineer stamp
    • Our plans had trusses not rafters (trusses are stamped by the manufacture of the trusses)
    • Our plans had the basic electric work up (i.e. pointed out where the double oven was, smoke detectors, etc.) but did not include the number of circuits needed which we got that number from our electrician (we needed this for the permit application)
  • Township Permit
    • Through our Township- they are only there a few times/hours a month, but again this was approved the day we took it
    • You will need your Site Survey
  • Septic Permit
    • Through the Board of Health
    • You will need your Site Survey, Township Permit, and Septic Design
    • Approved within a week, typically whoever is doing your septic gets this for you but he was busy so we just went ahead and got it
  • Building Permit
    • Through our County
    • You will need your approved Septic Permit, multiple sets of plans, Site Survey, Township permit, and plus we had to fill out an application
    • We had our plans not accepted once because we needed to mark two small things (CO detectors outside all bedrooms and bathroom exhaust fans needed to vent outside)
    • The process of turning them in, rejection, then resubmitting and approval took 5 days
  • Temporary Electric
    • This was through our electric company and our electrician helped set it up
    • We had to wait on land clearing and loan completion
  • Loan Process
    • Pre-approved in March, construction loan finalized in August. (6 months) (I think this can go faster if you stay on top of the bank. We were not in a rush.)
    • Items the Bank requested
      • Financials Records (W2, Tax Returns, paystubs, etc.)
      • Cost breakdown (Builder’s cost plus all “other” costs)
      • Builder’s Contract
      • Builder’s Risk Insurance (through your agent)- this is good for one year
      • Additionally, since we did do some land clearing and half driveway before our loan was approved we had to send a Letter of Intention
      • Application fee, plus down payment
  • Final plan design with Builder
    • Once we had the loan closing date we scheduled a time with our Builder to go over the plan one more time.
  • Foundation Poured (footers and basement walls)
    • Two weeks out from loan closing
    • I think this depends on what projects they have going and where you are on the list
    • Footers need inspected.
    • Also, if like us you do a roughed-in future bathroom in the basement, this will need inspected before you pour concrete.
  • Framing
    • Completed within a month of ground breaking
    • Framing needs inspected.
  • Dried In
    • This includes outside wall sheeting, windows, and doors installed
    • Within 2 months of foundation being poured
  • HVAC, Electric and Plumbing
    • Once your house has doors and windows and can be locked you can start on these projects
    • These all take a lot of time. I’m hesitant to even give a typical time frame as it is really on-going the entire time you are building.
    • All this will need a “rough-in” inspection and a final inspection.
  • Water Tap and Permanent electric
    • Through whoever your utilities are through.
    • From applying for the taps/meters to install this was about 10 days.
    • Make sure you meet with these utility companies before they install so you know where you’ll be running these from the road to your house.
    • Once the tap/permanent electric is done you can run these pipes/conduit to your house
  • Septic Installation
    • This can actually be installed as soon as your basement walls are up and your pipe is through the wall. Again, we did not have city sewer and the wait list for contractors in our area was a YEAR. Seriously. It is based on how wet it is, and for us we picked the wettest year in Ohio.
    • This will need an inspection.
  • Exterior and Interior Insulation
    • Took a couple days to do.
    • This will need to be inspected too. When in doubt get everything inspected.
  • Drywall
    • You have to have insulation and HVAC done. Side note: make sure your HVAC does not run when they are sanding drywall. Trust me.
    • This take about 2 to 3 weeks.
  • Painting and Staining
    • About a week.
  • Doors and Trim
    • About a week.
  • Flooring
    • Again about a week.
  • Kitchen Cabinets, Appliances, and Counter-Tops
    • You want to make sure you are timing this right. Our cabinets came in about 4 weeks too early, which the company who we bought the cabinets from was nice enough to let us store them in their warehouse.
  • Final grading
    • This will typically include some final landscaping and sidewalks.
  • Final Inspection
  • Occupancy Permit
  • House warming party that you invite me to and serve wine at?

YIKES. Are you still with me????? Did your eyes glaze over???? I’ll admit it is a lot. This was by far my least favorite post to write because of how overwhelming it is. Even now I’m afraid I might have missed something. I still think it gives you a good approximate timing of projects and order. And in full disclosure since we aren’t 100% moved into our house (again thank you Ohio weather) I will update this if it changes. If you just want the PDF of this list click here.

If I missed something please let me know!

Family

Useful Parenting Tips.

Sam

Ha! I have zero tips on how to “mom”. Every time I think I might be able to give some useful advice one of my kids (won’t name any names, but it’s always the middle one) gets stuck between the slide and the outside barrier at Chick-Fil-A and despite all my might I cannot remove him and people start to panic and ask if we should call 911. True story.

There are days that I really connect with my kids and I think I have this parenting gig down. I don’t yell or get frustrated easily. I am able to talk them through something and avoid a full blown out tantrum. I cook dinner that doesn’t make them gag. I am able to sort-wash-dry-AND put away the laundry. And when I go to tuck them in at night I read them a bedtime story and pray over them. It’s a sweet, easy going, good day.

Then the next day comes and I send the kids to school only to realize, once already at work, that I forgot to send their winter coats…. which just so happen to be in the back of my car. I also choose that day try a new Pinterest recipe that is gross so an hour later they are begging for a granola bar. Then during bath time my youngest, who refuses to potty train, poops in the bathtub and I lose my cool and force everyone to go to bed at 6 pm just so nothing else can go wrong.

OR maybe you aren’t a mom but you can relate because there are days that you are killing it at your job, the house is super clean, you are able to stay connected with your friends, AND work out. And then there are days that the only thing you are killing it at is killing your house plants.

It’s a balance I guess.

Before I used to think balancing meant having it all. Working and/or volunteering hard at whatever you do- but not too much so that your family is still your #1 priority. Having a clean and organized house- because that helps control the chaos. Cooking meals for your family most nights, but also having fun pizza dinners. Visiting friends and having “me” time, plus going out on date nights once a month even after you’re married…….. you know like all the things people say to do to help make your life better. I thought that was the balance I should be trying to achieve.

Instead the balance I’ve found isn’t this careful juggling act like people say. It’s more like you’re a server and holding up multiple plates with responsibilities heaped on them and a few crash on the floor – but you’re a mom so they were just plastic plates anyway – so you pick them up, check to see if they need washed, and continue on. The balance I have in my life isn’t about how I can hold all the plates up at the same time like I used to think, it’s about knowing which ones you can let crash for a minute. (I think some business books use the juggling analogy and balls dropping- but honestly I can’t say the word balls without blushing. Seriously, I hope that Jesus comes back before I have to have the talk with my kids because I will probably die from blushing that day). Anyways……..

Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given was to know your priorities. As in plural. There are days that my husband gets my attention because maybe he’s struggling with something, then there are days I’m celebrating something my oldest did so the other two kids have to suck it up and tag along. There are weeks that are busy at work and so it takes top priority, and then there are a few minutes here and there that I get to focus on myself. And when I’m focusing on one particular area in my life, I can pretty much guarantee that there are other parts close to falling or already on the ground. I won’t keep them there- but for the time being they aren’t my focus. Each year I get older, I’m a little better at figuring out what my priorities are.

But here’s where I struggle. Although I am getting better about knowing what I can let slide for a minute- it doesn’t make it any easier to actually let it fall to the bottom of my priority list. I hate even thinking that there are times work is more of a priority than my kids. To me that seems like I am saying I value work more. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. I love my work, I really do. As a senior in college I choose to take a class in not-for-profit and governmental accounting because it was so fascinating to me. So the fact that I actually have a career in it is a dream come true. (Listen Linda- accounting can be a dream job, thank you very much). But the love I have for my job is nothing compared to the love I have for my kids.

What I really struggle with and need to get better at is giving myself grace for letting things fall. I’m not entirely sure how to do this, since like I said, this is where I struggle… but I think it lies somewhere in between knowing we have grace and giving it to others.

Just like the grace we don’t deserve that God has given us, there’s nothing we can really do to earn it. We just have to be thankful we have it and accept it. When I know that I’m letting something fall off my plate I think I just have to acknowledge that it isn’t ideal but there’s not much else I can do about it.

And just like the fact that since God has given us grace we are called to also extend that gift to others. I need to let others know that they have grace when they are figuring out their priorities. When someone doesn’t put a top priority on something I think they should have, even if it causes me more work, I think I need to trust that they know their priorities better than I do. I think when we give this type of grace we become a little more aware of the fact we have the same grace.

I’m not sure if you need to know this or not, or if you already knew this, but you are not going to be able to do it all, and do it all well. I hope when those days come that you remember that you are allowed, and encouraged to give yourself grace. And if you see me at Chick-Fil-A trying to get a kid unstuck can you let me know I have grace too?