Month: February 2023

Me: You are the best! Love, love, love that you went to the Bible FIRST to “get over it”!

Friend: So my first reaction was “eff this biotch”. Second reaction was the Bible lol

 

Can I just take a minute to tell you I really like my friends?

I have this one friend, who I’ve been friends with for 30 years, and we can go from talking about how we are one step away from losing our crap (lol if you actually think we use the word crap) to giving each other deep emotional support through a hard day/time. Like her words of encouragement to me can make me cry! On the flip side, her well placed memes to me can also make me pee my pants. We’re versatile like that.

Then I’ve got this friend who lives far away. She’s at the same place career-wise, and family-wise as me. She’s also a believer like I am. We can share really insightful things with each other and also drop off the face of the earth for a few weeks and then pick back up like it was nothing. We get each other. We get life happens.

I’ve got a friend who I only became friends with (at the beginning) because our kids are friends. When we started sitting at sports games together, whispering to our kids to stop sucking (in a nice way of course), I just knew I found a keeper. She now talks me off ledges daily about life stressors with our kids, school, family, sports…. Everything.

I’ve got a friend who I met through church and I realized quick she was real, and wise, and not afraid to call me out on my crap (she might actually use the word crap vs. the other word). She has helped me with my relationship with God and I pray I have given her words of wisdom too…. Or at least she can look at me and see a good example of what not to do.

I have this other friend… who man, oh man, has been through things (good and bad). She has a strength I have never seen before, a heart of gold I cannot even begin to describe, and does everything with grace. She is the one person I can point back to that influenced me to go deeper with God first. I refuse to let her go as a friend…..

Guys, I even have such a good friend that when I had no place to go at 17, she said “you know my mom will be mad if you don’t come live with us.” 18 years later… they can’t get rid of me if they tried….. and I can’t even use the word friend to describe her because sister is a more accurate description!

Ok, last one. Not my last noteworthy friend, but my last one that I want to describe the beautiful friendship I have with. This friend is another one who truly thinks about others first. The servitude she has to her kids, husband, and even parents is awe inspiring. I am always looking at her to gain insight into how to be a better mom and person. Plus she’s super crafty and can make planning your Disney vacation not seem like you are learning a foreign language…..

Here’s the thing…. I can also describe to you friendships, that were frankly, bad for my health. Literally and figuratively.

I went years believing friends who justified my selfish behavior by saying things like “you gotta take care of yourself first” or “you NEED selfcare”. Or “it’s not a big deal, everyone does it”.

Unfortunately, this lesson of surrounding yourself with the right people is typically learned through experience. (Although I am working real hard on choosing my kids friends… and it may or may not be because I can actually stand their parents…)

In fact, just the other day my oldest kid experienced the hard message of “guilty by association”. Needless to say he got a stern talking to (aka a chewin’ out) from a leader in his school. According to the story, one of the kids he was in a group with did something inappropriate. The whole group was lumped into the conversation about not being stupid (I am sure the “leader” didn’t call them stupid but I would have… which is probably why I’m not a teacher). Anyways, he came home and let us know that he got yelled at. He complained that he didn’t even do anything and although I believe him I had to let him know this was a painful but necessary lesson to learn. 1) if you hang out with people doing bad things, people will think you do those bad things 2) if you hang out with people who do bad things, you’ll be tempted to do bad things 3) if you see bad things happening, tell someone and 4) don’t do bad things. I know, I know, my parenting advice is top notch….

Funny thing about the Bible, God’s living word………. Is it talks about friendships and relationships….. A LOT. Like it’s almost like God thinks they are important. It’s almost like He knows that a well placed friend can make or break you. It’s like He knew that some of our toughest times in life would be because of a broken relationship. It’s almost like He knows that some of the most joyful times in our life would not be because of what we were doing but because of WHO we were with. Crazy.

Here’s just a few (out of context, sorry not sorry) truth bombs:

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Matthew 5:16
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Proverbs 12:26
One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Look, there are some relationships we can’t choose. If anyone knows that, it’s me. BUT you can choose how it influences you. You can choose to be offended or not.

And in a lot of our relationships you CAN choose who to be around. And what’s more, you can also choose how YOU influence others. You can choose to be the wise one. You can choose to be the encourager, the one who puts a smile on others faces, the one who points them to the Truth.

So let me finish by saying that I have chosen a lot of great influences in my life, who I am so thankful have chosen me back…. And my prayer for you all today is that you choose wisely, my friend.