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“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.² “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ³ But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, ⁴ so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6:1-3)

Oldest (my shy kid): I don’t get it. I don’t want anyone to ever notice me.

Middle (my charismatic actor): *crickets*

Youngest (no words to describe him): All kids keep quiet secrets from their parents.

Me: Um what?

Youngest: Girlfriends. *promptly gets out of the car”

I used to always say that middle kid… man…. But now a days I am a bit concerned about that youngest. This conversation took place in the car on the way to school the other day and I still am not 100% sure if he has a girlfriend or not.

We were listening to a sermon on being quiet…. and I fully intended for my kids to listen to it and then never talk in the morning again.

Look, there are those of us who wake up in the morning and start to sing random songs as they get ready and don’t drink coffee and smile before 9 am… and then there are those of us who marry them and give birth to their kids who also are morning people, while we are just struggling to remember it would be a sin to kill people. I’ll let you guess which category I fall into and which one my kids and husband fall into.

Anyway… back to being quiet.

Our society is not quiet. In the age of social media, we are constantly letting everyone know what we are doing, what we believe in, what we are happy about, what we are upset about….. just everything. And before you say “well you do it too” or “not me, I prefer my gossip in real life vs. social media”….. I agree with you too. We are all conditioned to have a voice. And for a lot of reasons (speaking up for the oppressed and vulnerable) this is good…. Until it’s not. Until it becomes more about you than the people you are serving or God.

Recently, I have found that the Bible encourages us to be quiet much more often than to speak out.

• The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools. (Ecclesiastes 9:17)
• Therefore the prudent keep quiet in such times, for the times are evil. (Amos 5:13)

Or how about how Jesus encouraged his followers:

• Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” (Mark 6:31)
• Jesus told the crowd not to tell anyone, but the more he told them not to, the more they spread the news. (Mark 7:36)
• And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed… (Luke 22:40-46)

Or what Paul encouraged us to do?

• Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more,¹¹ and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, ¹² so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. (Thessalonians 4:11-12)

The Bible makes it pretty clear that we are to work with integrity and not boast about what we’ve done. Our fruit and production should be testimony enough without us having to say anything. AND your relationship with God, your prayer time with Him, the time you have with the Holy Spirit as you pour over His written word….. is really special. It should be guarded and intimate.

And although I’ll still love you, I don’t need to see you post your Bible next to a coffee cup in your stories on Instagram. #coffeewithjesus

Because if the last interaction I had with you was when you were yelling at a ref… well I’d hate to see you without your coffee and Jesus. (Please note by “you” I mean “me” too)

Look, I know we aren’t perfect… and we are going to say and do things that don’t line up with what God sets before us. We are going to get heated when we are in the grocery store and the lines are long and we are wondering why a gallon of milk just increased another 50 cents and contemplating how hard raising a dairy cow could be….. God knows… and in this He gives us permission to talk about it…..

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

Yeah, how strange. Matthew 6:3 says “if you do something good- be quiet” and James 5:16 says “if you do something bad- tell people”.

When is the last time you went on Instagram or Facebook, or even within your Life Group at Church and heard someone talk about their sin?

Still scrolling? Trying to find someone who did that?

So, here’s what I have found; we live in a world right now that glorifies those who want to be famous for all the wrong reasons…. We scroll accounts that show us who can organize best (ok maybe that is just me), and accounts that show exotic travel, and amazing sourdough loaves with the prefect crumb.. ok again probably just me… but you get it, we glorify and feed into the aesthetically pleasing lives of others…. And worse yet we live simultaneously in a world that chooses not to be accountable for the mistakes they make. Bet. (I do love me some Gen Z language)

Do you know what someone once told me about these silly blogs I write? They said that I am too negative about myself. That when I write about how I struggle with control or bitterness, that they feel bad….

Same, sister, same. It is why I write about it. Let me confess my sins and struggles, so that you don’t and also so you can pray for me. I want you to feel convicted, not condemned by the things I write.

Gosh… and that leads me right into another scary point…. What is a struggle for me, might not be for you and vice versa.

Need an example of a sin I struggle with that illustrates this point? Ugh, ok.

I tend to believe that God gave me a gift to write (probably debatable-  but for the sake of this point bare with me)…. And so I think for *me* it is a sin to not use the gift he has given me for His good.

• So when I ignore all the writing prompts He’s given me because I am too self-conscious to share them… that is a sin.
• When I read secular books that cause me to be tempted and distracted from God’s word….. that is a sin.
• When I write and then want reassurance from my friends more than trusting God… that is a sin.

I have friends who can read fiction books all the time and enjoy them and it isn’t a sin, but for me? It is. I also have friends who are very artistic, so hearing any music that isn’t based in scripture is a temptation to them to stray from God. For me? Not so much. My husband has a gifting to help others… if he complained while he was helping others… that would be a weighty sin for him.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12: 1-3)

Guys, we live in a really secular world (is that an oxymoron… probably), and how you act might be the only interaction that a non-Christian has with a Christian. We can’t take the chance that someone will be turned off from Christ because they don’t like what they saw us do and/or say. We have been set apart to do our very specific thing for God’s kingdom…. whatever that is. We can’t be fixated on the things that weigh us down and our sin. We can’t be fixated on the loudest voice in the room. We can’t be fixated on anything but Jesus. Not to be dramatic, but someone’s life and eternity could depend on it.

So, as harsh as it is, fix your eyes on the unseen and our life beyond this life, let go of anything that is keeping you away from God, confess that out loud, and then DO what God has designed you to do so that when we get to Heaven that we may be rewarded as a good and faithful servant of God… and do this quietly… especially in the morning around me.

To My Boys:

I pray you cry. I know, such a strange prayer. But I hope tears come to your eyes when your future wife walks down the aisle and you whisper to her that you don’t think you can say your written vows because you are so emotional, but then you do. I hope that you get scared when your wife shows you the positive pregnancy test…. not because you aren’t happy but because you know your life is changing. I pray that when you look at your brand-new baby you tear up and can’t wait to tell anyone who will listen all about the amazing things your kids can do. I pray that when you see a stranger baptized you shed a tear. I pray you know how to show your emotions.

I hope you keep a Bible close to your side of the bed, with pages a bit roughed up and a cover that looks like it has been well used. I pray that when you talk to someone you can say that you just heard that verse the other day from some random podcast you listened to. That you skip your kids’ baseball games to go to small group and set the example that your family loves God- no exceptions and no distractions.

I hope you learn to grow something. Maybe giant pumpkins, or maybe a strong career, maybe a loyal friendship, or a beautiful family. I hope you definitely grow your faith. Just something. I pray that you take care of something from its start and see how hard work and patience and research makes whatever it is bloom. That what started so small turns into something big and people take notice.

I hope you take your kids to Disney and say OK to wearing matching shirts. That you stand in line and wait for whatever ride or princess meet and greet your kid wants to see. That you smile for every picture and are always up for taking one more. I hope you take your kids fishing with their friends. That you never need your fishing license because you never get to fish since you are too busy untangling poles, baiting hooks, and taking fish off the lines.

I pray you just nod your head when your wife wants to go out with friends for dinner. That you don’t ever ask where the kids will be. I hope you tuck your kids in those nights with a prayer and kiss. That you figure out dinner and don’t ask what you are eating when she goes out. That even on nights where your wife is there, you make dinner, you give the baths, and you put them to bed while your wife curls up in a chair and reads a book.

I hope you take care of something. That your wife never has to worry about the dishes in the sink or how to mow the grass. That if the trashcan is full you take it out. That if something gets spilled you teach your kids how to clean it up. I pray you teach your kids to take care of their things too. I hope you see the value in taking care of your things and relationships- that by giving them attention they can last longer. I pray too that you learn that just because it is broke doesn’t mean it needs to be thrown away and you can still repair it.

I pray that you learn how to help someone. That if your father-in-law calls at 5:30 in the morning because his car is broke, you don’t hesitate to roll out of bed and fix it. I hope that if your mother-in-law calls on that same day because of a toilet leaking, that you run over to her house after work to see if you can get it to stop. Or if your family needs help moving you ask which day they need help. I pray you help your friend come to know Jesus. I hope you help anyone around you feel valued, loved, and safe.

I pray you work. That you get up each morning and go to a job and give it your all. That if you see something that needs to be done you never say “that’s not my job”. Instead, you just do it. That when you leave work for the day you still think about it. That if an emergency comes up, you show up. I know the world wants you to have a work-life balance. And you should, but I hope that one day you consider your work a part of your life. That you develop a community within it and really want it to succeed.

I hope you are strong. So that if your kid wants to be thrown in a pool you can launch them dangerously high. That if your wife asks for heavy couches to be moved to the top floor you can do it.  I pray you never get seriously injured, but if you do get hurt by something (like a concrete saw), you just shake it off and try and cut the grass the day after surgery. I pray you are strong willed enough to give up pop for one year and it stretches into 11 years and counting. I pray your strength comes from somewhere deep within you and that you know, even before you get to the point of exhaustion, that talking to God will make you even stronger.

I hope you tear things down. Another strange prayer. But I hope if there is an obstacle in your way… you tear it down. Maybe that obstacle is a tree in your backyard where your wife wants a pool. Maybe it is a stereotype that someone put on you. Or maybe it is a veil over your relationship with God. I pray you rip that old life away violently and step into the path God is guiding you on. That when the obstacle is removed that you don’t ever look back. I pray that when you tear that something down you build something new in its place. Something better, something stronger, something greater.

Mostly, my prayer and hope is that you become just like your Dad. If you do…. If you turn out just like him….. then you’ve already done all the other things.

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A lot of door and window decisions were made…… probably most of them wrong. Our garage doors were steel and just look like wood ones and the double front door is able to be stained but is fiberglass. AKA cheap.

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Way too many kitchen and bath things to mention all here….. so stay tuned for a post on just those areas of the house.

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Here are the really boring pictures of the beginning stages of our house. Enjoy, or don’t. I feel like Kyle and I were the only ones who were excited this step was happening.