Tag: building

Faith

Extra, Extra

Sam

Last Thanksgiving my friend put out a text message to our small group asking if anyone had a fancy place setting that they could use for a video for church. We all know that the text was meant for one person and one person only… me. Of course, I have holiday place settings around my table that we must move every time we eat because my kids are heathens when eating and I don’t want my place settings to actually be used…. They are just for looks. Duh.

Do I also do matching PJs on Christmas morning? Yes. Family Halloween costumes? You know it. Matching shirts we all wear on vacations? Usually. Did I throw my dog a 1st birthday party? I wanted an excuse to have cake. Elaborate teacher gifts? Look, they deserve the most elaborate gift in the world for dealing with my kids.

I wear makeup most days, curl my hair, and have worn heals to a bonfire.

I have a closet that is full of gifts in case someone springs a party on me last minute and I also have a cabinet in my kitchen just for when I host gatherings.

I have been accused and found guilty of being “extra”.

Most of my friends mean it in a pretty positive light. For example, when one of my best friends needs Christmas trees for a photo session and I happen to have 6 she can borrow. Or when we do a girl’s trip and no one needs to know anything but to be awake at 6 am because I’ve already got our ride to the airport figured out, boarding passes downloaded and a full itinerary planned. No one complains then….

But sometimes, I have a few people (usually who I am not super close to) call me “extra” in a way that is meant to shame me. It is hard to explain… but it is almost like because I find joy (and I would even call it a gifting) in what they would say are superficial things that I am somehow “less than”. Or I am impractical or lack common sense. Or that I care more about the world and looks than people and Jesus.

I don’t think it helps that I have seen sermon after sermon, and a lot of devotionals about how you should be a Mary not a Martha. And no, I am not referring to Martha Stewart…. Although can we just pause to acknowledge that 1) what a coincidence both their names are Martha and 2) what a shame it is that there is an entire generation who probably doesn’t know who Martha Stewart is???? No lie, I was once asked if I could meet two people (dead or alive) who would I choose? And I seriously said Jesus and Martha Stewart….. anyways.

If you aren’t familiar with this particular part of the Bible, here it is:

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

First, I’d like to take a pause here and insert my husband’s name into this passage at times for Mary…. I know it is a running joke that right before a party all husband’s find the most absurd thing to “help” with… like cleaning the gutters. My husband has taken it one step further and is now indoctrinating our kids. We were about to host people the other day and my oldest decided that was the perfect time to clean his room… nope, he decided he needed to use the backpack blower to rake leaves.

In all seriousness though I sympathize with Martha in this passage. She’s doing all the work, and she just wants some help. However, the Lord urgently says that Martha isn’t focused on the right thing, but Mary is. (I always choose to think Jesus said it not in a harsh, loud urgent way… but more of a “oh my dear child, listen to me” way).

Anyways, the gist is that Jesus wasn’t going to tell Mary to stop listening to Him in order to help Martha.

In a lot of devotionals and sermons on this passage it is pointed out that we all need to stop worrying about this world, and the to-do lists, and we need to rest in the eternal peace only Jesus can bring. We need to focus on the one thing that is needed. Jesus. Which is 100% true.

However……

Let me point out a few things.

  • Jesus went to MARTHA’S house. Not Mary’s, not their brother Lazarus’ house. Martha’s.

My non-bible school interpretation of this? Jesus was hungry and tired, and he knew Martha could cook and take care of him and his whole gang of friends. Do you know how rare it was that it was Martha’s house during that time? A woman’s house? Rare, friend, rare. Martha made Jesus and his disciples felt so taken care of that they dropped in (somewhat) unannounced. Probably more than once.

  • Martha was loved by Jesus.

In John 11, in another passage Martha’s brother was sick and ended up dying and Jesus took His time to get to them. In the description of the family (Martha, Mary, and Lazarus) it is said “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” (John 11:5). I mean we are all loved by Jesus….. but it’s called out here to show just how close they are. Which means Martha knew God (and His word), loved God and loved His son, Jesus.

  • Jesus never told her to stop hosting or caring for others in her home…. She was told to stop worrying about it.

That might not seem like a big difference but to me it is.

A few years back I had a lot of shame when it came to this. I listened to those sermons and devotions saying, “Be a Mary in a Martha World”. So, I decided I’d try that advice. It was right before a party we were hosting. I remember vowing I was going to be a “Mary” not a “Martha”. I picked up the house a little, made some basic food, and settled in to sit like Mary did. Want to know what happened? My husband straight up panicked and thought I was mad at him because I didn’t give him his pre-party to-do list, my kids asked what activities I had planned, and I didn’t enjoy sitting as much as I thought I would.

My husband likes my to-do list (usually, I mean… as long as a house project isn’t on it), it tells him exactly what to do. In fact, if someone could tell me in detail exactly what to do I think I’d like that too.. anyways…. Also, my kids like when I plan fun traditions and make things special. And yes, they might get embarrassed taking in mini piñatas and nachos to their teachers, but you can bet they ask me what I am doing this year for their teachers.

Turns out I am a Martha.

And that is ok.

Jesus never asked Martha to not be Martha. Jesus saw Martha. Like He really saw her. He knew she was the one He could count on to take care of him. He knew she had an amazing gift for hosting and making people feel welcomed. AND He knows that the kingdom needs that. I mean most Churches have a whole hospitality team to make people feel welcomed and feel taken care of.

Christian’s all have a gift or talent we’ve been entrusted with to further God’s kingdom. Maybe yours is encouraging people, or maybe it is teaching, or helping or maybe it is healing, wisdom, prophecy, faith… there are several guys. And as it turns out in order to reach the MOST people to tell them about Jesus, we need all the gifts.

One person might shut down if you start teaching them right away. They might need to see you helping in action to realize they can trust the God you serve. But another person might need facts and truth, they value wisdom and although they acknowledge emotions, they like taking emotions out of decisions.

Here’s the thing, what Jesus was talking about to Martha… is that she needed to stop worrying about the task and focus on the reason. Not change her task per-se.

This means;

  • You might have to recognize that your need to be “right” or “seen” isn’t near as important as making sure the person comes to know Jesus.
  • You have to recognize when someone else’s gifting might be better in a situation. WE have to work together.
  • You can’t let your gifting be used for the wrong purpose or even “just because”. Your talent is a direct gift from God, use it for Him.
  • If you start to worry and stress about “doing” whatever you think you’re called to do, you need to re-exam if you have your priorities right.

Martha started to use her gift in a way that wasn’t accomplishing what she was meant to use it for. Her purpose was to serve Jesus. She did that usually very well, by serving his physical needs. But her sister is different and Martha can’t push that on her sister.

That’s what Jesus was telling Martha. He was saying; “Martha serve me whole heartedly, like your sister is doing right now.” He didn’t say serve me differently than how you are, just keep the main point the main point. Which is always Jesus.

I am proud to be a Martha. But from time to time, I do need the reminder that my calling is to be a child of God and to lead others to know Jesus, not to just host parties for no reason. However, if you do need a wooden sled to decorate with, themed dinnerware, baby girl shower décor, or just a place to drink fancy coffee from my coffee bar and talk about Jesus… I have that covered.

 

 

 

Farmhouse

The Waiting Game.

Sam

We are almost into our house. We still don’t have an exact date that the septic will be 100% finished and we are awarded with the magical occupancy permit…. but like the monkey who got its tail caught in the fan… it won’t be long now.

Ok, yeah I am using “dad jokes” but that should just tell you just how delusional I am at this point in our build.  I am burnt out on decisions, I am ready to be moved in, and in order to stay positive I have resorted to telling bad jokes…. but truth be told that’s a really good joke and you should laugh at it.

Anyways while I pass the time, I wanted to write a post about all the things that happen in this limbo period. So here goes:

  1. You spend money.

That’s it. That’s the end of the list. Through the whole building process and in the limbo period, and once you move in you just keep spending money, then you die.

Ok, maybe I am being a drama queen, but seriously I was not prepared for the nickel and diming that happens at the end of the build. So let my pain be a learning experience for someone…… here is a list of things you might have to buy and/or think about when you are about to move into a new house:

  • There are inches of construction dust. Like it’s raining dust at our house. Maybe that’ll be a new farmhouse trend I can start…. “authentic farmhouse dirt”. So to combat the massive air pollutants in the house I have bought:
    • A new shop vac (thank you Amazon Prime Days)
    • A mop/vacuum combo (thank you 30% off Kohls coupon)
    • A new broom
    • Another new broom because my husband took the one I bought for the garage.
    • New vacuum filters- because….. dust.
  • Cleaning supplies:
    • Hand soap, dish soap, Lysol wipes, granite cleaner, windex etc.
    • Magic Eraser- for when your kid takes a pencil to your newly painted walls
    • Carpet cleaner- for a similar reason.
  • Random stuff:
    • Trash cans.
    • Shower rod.
    • Soap dishes and dispensers.
    • Squeegees for the glass shower doors.
    • Curtains, blinds, etc.
    • Bath mats.
    • Entry mats.
    • Towel racks, toilet paper holders, door hooks, and door stoppers.
  • Furniture. So I think most of us know that we might want a new couch for a new house, or hey we have two more bedrooms in the new house so we need furniture for those new spaces…. But what I want to touch on is priorities of buying those things:
    • Make a list of all the furniture you plan to put in each room. Then mark next to it if you have it already or plan to buy it, and then write a budget of what each item will cost. I went as detailed as wanting a wreath for my pantry door.
    • Then highlight the items that are the most important to buy. (for example, we had to have a new bed for my son’s room and a new couch, but the entryway church pew I want wasn’t something I had to have right away).
    • Then come up with the goal you need to save or reserve some of your budget for to purchase those things. Then add some money because you will forget something.
    • Personally, I would focus on making sure you have a place to sit and eat (so either a table or bar stools), a place to sleep, and a TV so you can turn on a movie to distract your kids.
    • Another thing I bought here that adds up is paint and materials to refurbish the furniture I already had to “fit” in more with my new house.
  • Decorations……. This should be last on your priority list but unfortunately, I let this one sneak up on me. So my suggestion is that you at least budget for some decorations so that when you decide to buy some throw pillows… ok maybe I technically bought 12…. that it doesn’t shock your bank account. The thing you have to keep in mind about a new house is that you don’t need to move in and it be perfect……. obviously I am saying this to myself and not anyone reading this. SAM STOP BUYING DECORATIONS!
  • And last but not least I have spent an insane amount on organization………
    • Silverware tray.
    • Drawer dividers.
    • Shoe organizer.
    • Shower caddy.
    • Closet system that was over and above the white wire racks our builder included.
    • A crock to put utensils in (OK this wasn’t a necessity but I LOVE it!)
    • Pantry and Fridge organizers.

Oh bonus tip: You also spend a ton on going out to eat and gas. I am always forgetting something I need at the store because my pantry isn’t fully stocked yet or because we are still working on 100 projects around the house time gets away from me, so we end up eating out more than I care to admit. Plus, all those back and forth trips to the store and Lowe’s really add up!

Please do better than me if you decide to build a house. Budget better for these little odds and ends and plan better so that you don’t need to blow an entire paycheck on trash cans and cleaning supplies. Oh, and a word to the wise avoid the Target Dollar spot and Hobby Lobby during this limbo period.

Farmhouse

Building Timeline

Sam

So here’s the deal. I am going to give you an actual check list of what order things are typically done when building. But I need you to know that building a house is dependent on………. weather, humans, and where you are building. Which means that if you have terrible weather (thank you Ohio) this list might change and timing might be adjusted. And because building is so dependent on sub-contractors, if one is running behind it can mess up timing of other things too. Also, depending on where you live this list can have things it is missing or things that need to be added to it (i.e. a structural engineer stamp or added township inspections).

Also, I know you know this but planning is key. I highly suggest you read First Things First: Building a House. This list is really for after you have your land secured and builder selected. Also, because I am super nice if you want this in a PDF list scroll to the bottom.

  • Address
    • Through Township- Our township trustees are only there a few times/hours a month, but we got it approved the day we took it
    • Also register mail address with USPS- took a few weeks
  • Driveway Permit
    • Through ODOT (Ohio Dept. of Transportation because we built on a State road)
    • Ours came within a week
  • Soil Samples
    • Took about a month
  • Site Survey/Septic Design
    • We gave a set of plans we drew up that showed approx. footage off the road, size of house, angle of house, etc.
    • They used this for official plans which was sent to the Septic Designer who overlaid Septic Plans
    • Site Survey said 6 weeks out but took more like 8 weeks- dependent on how backed up your contractor is
    • Once the Septic Designer got the Site Survey and soil results this only took a few weeks
  • House Plans (working on at the same time as septic etc.)
    • This took almost 10 weeks and I had to stay on top of them
    • We did not have to have an engineer stamp
    • Our plans had trusses not rafters (trusses are stamped by the manufacture of the trusses)
    • Our plans had the basic electric work up (i.e. pointed out where the double oven was, smoke detectors, etc.) but did not include the number of circuits needed which we got that number from our electrician (we needed this for the permit application)
  • Township Permit
    • Through our Township- they are only there a few times/hours a month, but again this was approved the day we took it
    • You will need your Site Survey
  • Septic Permit
    • Through the Board of Health
    • You will need your Site Survey, Township Permit, and Septic Design
    • Approved within a week, typically whoever is doing your septic gets this for you but he was busy so we just went ahead and got it
  • Building Permit
    • Through our County
    • You will need your approved Septic Permit, multiple sets of plans, Site Survey, Township permit, and plus we had to fill out an application
    • We had our plans not accepted once because we needed to mark two small things (CO detectors outside all bedrooms and bathroom exhaust fans needed to vent outside)
    • The process of turning them in, rejection, then resubmitting and approval took 5 days
  • Temporary Electric
    • This was through our electric company and our electrician helped set it up
    • We had to wait on land clearing and loan completion
  • Loan Process
    • Pre-approved in March, construction loan finalized in August. (6 months) (I think this can go faster if you stay on top of the bank. We were not in a rush.)
    • Items the Bank requested
      • Financials Records (W2, Tax Returns, paystubs, etc.)
      • Cost breakdown (Builder’s cost plus all “other” costs)
      • Builder’s Contract
      • Builder’s Risk Insurance (through your agent)- this is good for one year
      • Additionally, since we did do some land clearing and half driveway before our loan was approved we had to send a Letter of Intention
      • Application fee, plus down payment
  • Final plan design with Builder
    • Once we had the loan closing date we scheduled a time with our Builder to go over the plan one more time.
  • Foundation Poured (footers and basement walls)
    • Two weeks out from loan closing
    • I think this depends on what projects they have going and where you are on the list
    • Footers need inspected.
    • Also, if like us you do a roughed-in future bathroom in the basement, this will need inspected before you pour concrete.
  • Framing
    • Completed within a month of ground breaking
    • Framing needs inspected.
  • Dried In
    • This includes outside wall sheeting, windows, and doors installed
    • Within 2 months of foundation being poured
  • HVAC, Electric and Plumbing
    • Once your house has doors and windows and can be locked you can start on these projects
    • These all take a lot of time. I’m hesitant to even give a typical time frame as it is really on-going the entire time you are building.
    • All this will need a “rough-in” inspection and a final inspection.
  • Water Tap and Permanent electric
    • Through whoever your utilities are through.
    • From applying for the taps/meters to install this was about 10 days.
    • Make sure you meet with these utility companies before they install so you know where you’ll be running these from the road to your house.
    • Once the tap/permanent electric is done you can run these pipes/conduit to your house
  • Septic Installation
    • This can actually be installed as soon as your basement walls are up and your pipe is through the wall. Again, we did not have city sewer and the wait list for contractors in our area was a YEAR. Seriously. It is based on how wet it is, and for us we picked the wettest year in Ohio.
    • This will need an inspection.
  • Exterior and Interior Insulation
    • Took a couple days to do.
    • This will need to be inspected too. When in doubt get everything inspected.
  • Drywall
    • You have to have insulation and HVAC done. Side note: make sure your HVAC does not run when they are sanding drywall. Trust me.
    • This take about 2 to 3 weeks.
  • Painting and Staining
    • About a week.
  • Doors and Trim
    • About a week.
  • Flooring
    • Again about a week.
  • Kitchen Cabinets, Appliances, and Counter-Tops
    • You want to make sure you are timing this right. Our cabinets came in about 4 weeks too early, which the company who we bought the cabinets from was nice enough to let us store them in their warehouse.
  • Final grading
    • This will typically include some final landscaping and sidewalks.
  • Final Inspection
  • Occupancy Permit
  • House warming party that you invite me to and serve wine at?

YIKES. Are you still with me????? Did your eyes glaze over???? I’ll admit it is a lot. This was by far my least favorite post to write because of how overwhelming it is. Even now I’m afraid I might have missed something. I still think it gives you a good approximate timing of projects and order. And in full disclosure since we aren’t 100% moved into our house (again thank you Ohio weather) I will update this if it changes. If you just want the PDF of this list click here.

If I missed something please let me know!