Tag: #buildingonabudget

Faith

Extra, Extra

Sam

Last Thanksgiving my friend put out a text message to our small group asking if anyone had a fancy place setting that they could use for a video for church. We all know that the text was meant for one person and one person only… me. Of course, I have holiday place settings around my table that we must move every time we eat because my kids are heathens when eating and I don’t want my place settings to actually be used…. They are just for looks. Duh.

Do I also do matching PJs on Christmas morning? Yes. Family Halloween costumes? You know it. Matching shirts we all wear on vacations? Usually. Did I throw my dog a 1st birthday party? I wanted an excuse to have cake. Elaborate teacher gifts? Look, they deserve the most elaborate gift in the world for dealing with my kids.

I wear makeup most days, curl my hair, and have worn heals to a bonfire.

I have a closet that is full of gifts in case someone springs a party on me last minute and I also have a cabinet in my kitchen just for when I host gatherings.

I have been accused and found guilty of being “extra”.

Most of my friends mean it in a pretty positive light. For example, when one of my best friends needs Christmas trees for a photo session and I happen to have 6 she can borrow. Or when we do a girl’s trip and no one needs to know anything but to be awake at 6 am because I’ve already got our ride to the airport figured out, boarding passes downloaded and a full itinerary planned. No one complains then….

But sometimes, I have a few people (usually who I am not super close to) call me “extra” in a way that is meant to shame me. It is hard to explain… but it is almost like because I find joy (and I would even call it a gifting) in what they would say are superficial things that I am somehow “less than”. Or I am impractical or lack common sense. Or that I care more about the world and looks than people and Jesus.

I don’t think it helps that I have seen sermon after sermon, and a lot of devotionals about how you should be a Mary not a Martha. And no, I am not referring to Martha Stewart…. Although can we just pause to acknowledge that 1) what a coincidence both their names are Martha and 2) what a shame it is that there is an entire generation who probably doesn’t know who Martha Stewart is???? No lie, I was once asked if I could meet two people (dead or alive) who would I choose? And I seriously said Jesus and Martha Stewart….. anyways.

If you aren’t familiar with this particular part of the Bible, here it is:

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

First, I’d like to take a pause here and insert my husband’s name into this passage at times for Mary…. I know it is a running joke that right before a party all husband’s find the most absurd thing to “help” with… like cleaning the gutters. My husband has taken it one step further and is now indoctrinating our kids. We were about to host people the other day and my oldest decided that was the perfect time to clean his room… nope, he decided he needed to use the backpack blower to rake leaves.

In all seriousness though I sympathize with Martha in this passage. She’s doing all the work, and she just wants some help. However, the Lord urgently says that Martha isn’t focused on the right thing, but Mary is. (I always choose to think Jesus said it not in a harsh, loud urgent way… but more of a “oh my dear child, listen to me” way).

Anyways, the gist is that Jesus wasn’t going to tell Mary to stop listening to Him in order to help Martha.

In a lot of devotionals and sermons on this passage it is pointed out that we all need to stop worrying about this world, and the to-do lists, and we need to rest in the eternal peace only Jesus can bring. We need to focus on the one thing that is needed. Jesus. Which is 100% true.

However……

Let me point out a few things.

  • Jesus went to MARTHA’S house. Not Mary’s, not their brother Lazarus’ house. Martha’s.

My non-bible school interpretation of this? Jesus was hungry and tired, and he knew Martha could cook and take care of him and his whole gang of friends. Do you know how rare it was that it was Martha’s house during that time? A woman’s house? Rare, friend, rare. Martha made Jesus and his disciples felt so taken care of that they dropped in (somewhat) unannounced. Probably more than once.

  • Martha was loved by Jesus.

In John 11, in another passage Martha’s brother was sick and ended up dying and Jesus took His time to get to them. In the description of the family (Martha, Mary, and Lazarus) it is said “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” (John 11:5). I mean we are all loved by Jesus….. but it’s called out here to show just how close they are. Which means Martha knew God (and His word), loved God and loved His son, Jesus.

  • Jesus never told her to stop hosting or caring for others in her home…. She was told to stop worrying about it.

That might not seem like a big difference but to me it is.

A few years back I had a lot of shame when it came to this. I listened to those sermons and devotions saying, “Be a Mary in a Martha World”. So, I decided I’d try that advice. It was right before a party we were hosting. I remember vowing I was going to be a “Mary” not a “Martha”. I picked up the house a little, made some basic food, and settled in to sit like Mary did. Want to know what happened? My husband straight up panicked and thought I was mad at him because I didn’t give him his pre-party to-do list, my kids asked what activities I had planned, and I didn’t enjoy sitting as much as I thought I would.

My husband likes my to-do list (usually, I mean… as long as a house project isn’t on it), it tells him exactly what to do. In fact, if someone could tell me in detail exactly what to do I think I’d like that too.. anyways…. Also, my kids like when I plan fun traditions and make things special. And yes, they might get embarrassed taking in mini piñatas and nachos to their teachers, but you can bet they ask me what I am doing this year for their teachers.

Turns out I am a Martha.

And that is ok.

Jesus never asked Martha to not be Martha. Jesus saw Martha. Like He really saw her. He knew she was the one He could count on to take care of him. He knew she had an amazing gift for hosting and making people feel welcomed. AND He knows that the kingdom needs that. I mean most Churches have a whole hospitality team to make people feel welcomed and feel taken care of.

Christian’s all have a gift or talent we’ve been entrusted with to further God’s kingdom. Maybe yours is encouraging people, or maybe it is teaching, or helping or maybe it is healing, wisdom, prophecy, faith… there are several guys. And as it turns out in order to reach the MOST people to tell them about Jesus, we need all the gifts.

One person might shut down if you start teaching them right away. They might need to see you helping in action to realize they can trust the God you serve. But another person might need facts and truth, they value wisdom and although they acknowledge emotions, they like taking emotions out of decisions.

Here’s the thing, what Jesus was talking about to Martha… is that she needed to stop worrying about the task and focus on the reason. Not change her task per-se.

This means;

  • You might have to recognize that your need to be “right” or “seen” isn’t near as important as making sure the person comes to know Jesus.
  • You have to recognize when someone else’s gifting might be better in a situation. WE have to work together.
  • You can’t let your gifting be used for the wrong purpose or even “just because”. Your talent is a direct gift from God, use it for Him.
  • If you start to worry and stress about “doing” whatever you think you’re called to do, you need to re-exam if you have your priorities right.

Martha started to use her gift in a way that wasn’t accomplishing what she was meant to use it for. Her purpose was to serve Jesus. She did that usually very well, by serving his physical needs. But her sister is different and Martha can’t push that on her sister.

That’s what Jesus was telling Martha. He was saying; “Martha serve me whole heartedly, like your sister is doing right now.” He didn’t say serve me differently than how you are, just keep the main point the main point. Which is always Jesus.

I am proud to be a Martha. But from time to time, I do need the reminder that my calling is to be a child of God and to lead others to know Jesus, not to just host parties for no reason. However, if you do need a wooden sled to decorate with, themed dinnerware, baby girl shower décor, or just a place to drink fancy coffee from my coffee bar and talk about Jesus… I have that covered.

 

 

 

Farmhouse

The Waiting Game.

Sam

We are almost into our house. We still don’t have an exact date that the septic will be 100% finished and we are awarded with the magical occupancy permit…. but like the monkey who got its tail caught in the fan… it won’t be long now.

Ok, yeah I am using “dad jokes” but that should just tell you just how delusional I am at this point in our build.  I am burnt out on decisions, I am ready to be moved in, and in order to stay positive I have resorted to telling bad jokes…. but truth be told that’s a really good joke and you should laugh at it.

Anyways while I pass the time, I wanted to write a post about all the things that happen in this limbo period. So here goes:

  1. You spend money.

That’s it. That’s the end of the list. Through the whole building process and in the limbo period, and once you move in you just keep spending money, then you die.

Ok, maybe I am being a drama queen, but seriously I was not prepared for the nickel and diming that happens at the end of the build. So let my pain be a learning experience for someone…… here is a list of things you might have to buy and/or think about when you are about to move into a new house:

  • There are inches of construction dust. Like it’s raining dust at our house. Maybe that’ll be a new farmhouse trend I can start…. “authentic farmhouse dirt”. So to combat the massive air pollutants in the house I have bought:
    • A new shop vac (thank you Amazon Prime Days)
    • A mop/vacuum combo (thank you 30% off Kohls coupon)
    • A new broom
    • Another new broom because my husband took the one I bought for the garage.
    • New vacuum filters- because….. dust.
  • Cleaning supplies:
    • Hand soap, dish soap, Lysol wipes, granite cleaner, windex etc.
    • Magic Eraser- for when your kid takes a pencil to your newly painted walls
    • Carpet cleaner- for a similar reason.
  • Random stuff:
    • Trash cans.
    • Shower rod.
    • Soap dishes and dispensers.
    • Squeegees for the glass shower doors.
    • Curtains, blinds, etc.
    • Bath mats.
    • Entry mats.
    • Towel racks, toilet paper holders, door hooks, and door stoppers.
  • Furniture. So I think most of us know that we might want a new couch for a new house, or hey we have two more bedrooms in the new house so we need furniture for those new spaces…. But what I want to touch on is priorities of buying those things:
    • Make a list of all the furniture you plan to put in each room. Then mark next to it if you have it already or plan to buy it, and then write a budget of what each item will cost. I went as detailed as wanting a wreath for my pantry door.
    • Then highlight the items that are the most important to buy. (for example, we had to have a new bed for my son’s room and a new couch, but the entryway church pew I want wasn’t something I had to have right away).
    • Then come up with the goal you need to save or reserve some of your budget for to purchase those things. Then add some money because you will forget something.
    • Personally, I would focus on making sure you have a place to sit and eat (so either a table or bar stools), a place to sleep, and a TV so you can turn on a movie to distract your kids.
    • Another thing I bought here that adds up is paint and materials to refurbish the furniture I already had to “fit” in more with my new house.
  • Decorations……. This should be last on your priority list but unfortunately, I let this one sneak up on me. So my suggestion is that you at least budget for some decorations so that when you decide to buy some throw pillows… ok maybe I technically bought 12…. that it doesn’t shock your bank account. The thing you have to keep in mind about a new house is that you don’t need to move in and it be perfect……. obviously I am saying this to myself and not anyone reading this. SAM STOP BUYING DECORATIONS!
  • And last but not least I have spent an insane amount on organization………
    • Silverware tray.
    • Drawer dividers.
    • Shoe organizer.
    • Shower caddy.
    • Closet system that was over and above the white wire racks our builder included.
    • A crock to put utensils in (OK this wasn’t a necessity but I LOVE it!)
    • Pantry and Fridge organizers.

Oh bonus tip: You also spend a ton on going out to eat and gas. I am always forgetting something I need at the store because my pantry isn’t fully stocked yet or because we are still working on 100 projects around the house time gets away from me, so we end up eating out more than I care to admit. Plus, all those back and forth trips to the store and Lowe’s really add up!

Please do better than me if you decide to build a house. Budget better for these little odds and ends and plan better so that you don’t need to blow an entire paycheck on trash cans and cleaning supplies. Oh, and a word to the wise avoid the Target Dollar spot and Hobby Lobby during this limbo period.

Farmhouse

30+ Tips When Building A House

Sam

I am no expert when it comes to building a house. Kyle and I don’t build houses everyday and we haven’t even lived int hat many houses either. So when we decided to build a house we begged, borrowed and plain stole ideas of what to do. We were so fortunate to have a lot of friends and family who shared plenty of tips with us. As my way of paying it forward I tried to write down all the tips we received so that maybe we could help others like we were helped out. So………. enjoy these 30 + tips when building a house…..

General-

  1. When you dig the hole for your foundation (before the concrete goes in) spray the ground for termites.
  2. If possible, go with 2×6 walls. This helps with energy efficiency and for sound.
  3. If your builder lets you, get 2nd quotes on everything.
  4. I’m sure most of you know this but when you stake out your house it will be small…. like super small. One thing that helped me was measuring the size of my furniture in the staked off area. We also went to a friends house and measured their room dimensions to put our (ok…. actually just my) mind at ease.
  5. When the foundation gets poured put your conduit in, so there is no drilling through concrete walls. Also, remember to cap in the conduit so that the concrete and waterproofing black tar don’t get in it.
  6. Take pictures of everything. You’ll want to know where an outlet is that was accidentally hid by the drywall guy.
  7. Make your doors wheelchair accessible. Actually, look at your house overall and say “how accessible is it?”
  8. Rough-in plumbing in places you eventually will finish out or want a bathroom in (like the basement). Honestly, one person even suggested a bathroom in the garage, and I think it was genius! While I didn’t do that it made me remember that my boys always come in super dirty from outside, so we put our laundry room with a full wash tub right by our garage door and a bathroom access right as you walk in there too. That way they don’t have to go all through the house to get to a bathroom or to throw muddy clothes into the laundry room.
  9. Interior sound insulation, especially if you are doing an open concept.
  10. Where will you store a vacuum or broom? Think about living in the house. Where will you store things? Where will you hang out? Walking through our house and thinking of those things helped us switch a few things.
  11. Do you LOVE shiplap like me??? Pre-paint it (or buy boards already primed/painted) so that when you put it on the wall and over time the house “breaths” you won’t see the grooves that you missed. If you paint it once it is on the walls then the boards will separate over time and it’s really hard to get paint in those cracks!
  12. When choosing tile try to stay away from white grout. White grout will never stay white. Also, if you go with a dark tile in the shower keep in mind that soap scum is white.
  13. Can you add attic storage anywhere? Our builder was able to make us some attic storage that had access from our bonus room.
  14. Ask for any leftover material so that you can touch up things later.
  15. Also, think about where you can use leftover material. Can you use scrap granite in your bathroom on ledges? Can you use the outside board and batten on the fireplace or around a tub?
  16. Lowes Pro account. Kyle signed up for one of these and we get 5% off our purchases all the time. There are a few advantages to it. 1) you can order at the contractor pack levels (i.e. cheaper rates on lights/drywall if you buy so many) and 2) you can have it pulled and waiting for you and pick it up at the one door that says contractor (it makes us feel official). 3) it is kept separate from our checking account so it is easier to submit when we need reimbursed from our loan. I think using a military discount if you qualify would work well too.
  17. One thing that helped us was having some really smart friends (those who were contractors, inspectors, etc.) walk through our house at each stage. More times than I care to admit they pointed out things (like a wall that wasn’t supported right or a friend who looked at one of my building pictures and sent me a Facebook message about plastic wrapping to prevent rotting porches) that we were able to take back to our builder the next day and ask that they address it. I can’t tell you how much this saved us in failed inspection fees, and it gave us peace of mind.
  18. I can’t tell you how many things we have returned. Lights because I didn’t like the size, fans because I didn’t like the color, 4 different styles of door handles, etc. Make sure you don’t get into a habit of buying and returning too much. It costs money and time to return all those items.
  19. Final walk-through for paint/dry wall. Give family and friends each a roll of blue painter’s tape and have them put a piece of tape by anything they find. The worst thing would be to move into your brand-new house and realize you already have to patch a wall because when they brought in the cabinets, they scratched something up.
  20. And keep in mind that some things will not go right. Try to have a good attitude about everything! I’m a Christian and my faith has helped in ways I can’t explain! This house is not my #1 priority, it is just a house.

Kitchen-

  1. My pantry wasn’t as huge as I’d like it, so my builder found some space between the studs to add an extra small closet. Utilize space between studs well- extra closets, built-ins, etc.
  2. Pot filler- ok this is a splurge, but I am so excited about it!
  3. Pot and pan drawer right by or under your stove/cook top.
  4. Silverware drawer next to your dishwasher for easy unloading.
  5. Think about the places everyone goes in the kitchen when they are over. The trash can and sink. Unless you can access the trash by multiple directions, I would suggest not putting it next to the sink (I know strange but trust me!)
  6. If you have an island with a sink in it, make sure the faucet you select isn’t too tall.
  7. I don’t think you need a ton of specialty drawers, but one or two are really nice. My two were the pot/pan drawer and the trash drawer. Maybe yours is a fancy spice rack next to the stove. In the other cabinets think about wire racks inside to maximize space without the extra cost of a pull-out drawer.
  8. Remember that between your island and your cabinets and where your table is you should have at least 42-48 inches so that you can easily maneuver without hitting your hip on something.
  9. Lights. Two big flaws I have made in our house are the fact that our table isn’t centered to the dining room and the island isn’t centered to the middle beam… which means the light over the table isn’t centered to the room and the pendant lights aren’t exactly centered either. You can’t notice unless I point it out….. but I noticed.

Bathrooms-

  1. Pick tile for your shower that is not shiny! You will slip.
  2. Showers that are really large or open air are cold. Think about either making it smaller, adding glass walls, or multiple shower heads.
  3. Where will you store towels for each shower?
  4. We went with taller vanities in the bathrooms. And a taller toilet. I am not 100% sold on this but the taller cabinets look nice and the toilet is easier to get off of when you get older…..

Outlets/Light Switches/Etc.-

  1. Master closet- for a safe
  2. Hallway closet- to charge cordless cleaning appliances
  3. Pantry- for kitchen appliances
  4. Bedrooms- for nightlights
  5. Living room floor- for power couches and lamps on side tables
  6. Don’t forget outlets on the porch. Maybe even put some on the ceiling so that it’s easier to hang Christmas lights. And outlets in the garage for charging power tools or your kids power-wheels.
  7. Where will your bed be in the master bedroom? Think about laying down in it and the lights being on, then having to argue about who’s turning the lights off…… maybe add a switch to the lights by your bed.
  8. Plan where you are going to put your Christmas tree or entry table and then put an outlet there.
  9. Put in dimmer switches in certain areas of your house.
  10. Put in USB outlets in places you might charge your phone.
  11. Don’t want to see cable boxes and such? Run conduit in the walls from where your TV will go to a nearby closet.

Outside/Barn/Garage-

  1. Are you having gas? Run a line to your back porch for your grill.
  2. Driveway….. while building it (and your yard) will be a mess! Try not to do finishing touches (or concrete aprons, black top, etc.) until all the heavy equipment is out.
  3. Gutters tied into pipes buried to move water away from house.
  4. In barns and garages (if your county allows)- add drains.
  5. Make sure windows and doors in detached garages and barns face the house so you can see if someone is breaking in.
  6. Also we had trail cams put up while we were building. And we had people steal things….. so they came in very handy!
  7. Double garage doors vs. 1 bigger door are more heat/cooling efficient.
  8. Put an outside spicket on multiple sides of your house so you aren’t dragging hoses around.
  9. Think about alternative energy/heat/cooling sources. Could your house use an outdoor wood burning stove, a wood burning stove in the basement tied into the fireplace chimney, an attic fan, or if you had a generator where would you put it and pre-wire it to main areas of the house.
  10. We were told not to put the outside air condition unit by our bedroom because it would be loud- but ours is really quiet… so this is “maybe” a good tip?
  11. Our porch is ridiculously deep. So maybe we are a bit excessive. However, make sure it is deep enough for furniture if you have one.

Finding Land-

  1. We just randomly called up someone to ask if they’d sell us land. Since we’ve done this we’ve heard of so many people who’ve also been able to get their land like this!
  2. Make sure the land you like isn’t too wet. Or if it has a lot of trees- just know that it is going to cost money and time to clear that land and probably will mean bringing in dirt.
  3. Think about where you are putting the house and how hard it is to get utilities to it.
  4. Talking about utilities you can call up the water company to see how much a water tap would be (or even if you have water available) and you can see what your county usually lets you install septic wise (we basically only got to install a mound system). Figuring some of this out beforehand might make you decide if the perfect land is really worth it knowing how much prep you’ll have to do.