Tag: Jesus

Faith

Extra, Extra

Sam

Last Thanksgiving my friend put out a text message to our small group asking if anyone had a fancy place setting that they could use for a video for church. We all know that the text was meant for one person and one person only… me. Of course, I have holiday place settings around my table that we must move every time we eat because my kids are heathens when eating and I don’t want my place settings to actually be used…. They are just for looks. Duh.

Do I also do matching PJs on Christmas morning? Yes. Family Halloween costumes? You know it. Matching shirts we all wear on vacations? Usually. Did I throw my dog a 1st birthday party? I wanted an excuse to have cake. Elaborate teacher gifts? Look, they deserve the most elaborate gift in the world for dealing with my kids.

I wear makeup most days, curl my hair, and have worn heals to a bonfire.

I have a closet that is full of gifts in case someone springs a party on me last minute and I also have a cabinet in my kitchen just for when I host gatherings.

I have been accused and found guilty of being “extra”.

Most of my friends mean it in a pretty positive light. For example, when one of my best friends needs Christmas trees for a photo session and I happen to have 6 she can borrow. Or when we do a girl’s trip and no one needs to know anything but to be awake at 6 am because I’ve already got our ride to the airport figured out, boarding passes downloaded and a full itinerary planned. No one complains then….

But sometimes, I have a few people (usually who I am not super close to) call me “extra” in a way that is meant to shame me. It is hard to explain… but it is almost like because I find joy (and I would even call it a gifting) in what they would say are superficial things that I am somehow “less than”. Or I am impractical or lack common sense. Or that I care more about the world and looks than people and Jesus.

I don’t think it helps that I have seen sermon after sermon, and a lot of devotionals about how you should be a Mary not a Martha. And no, I am not referring to Martha Stewart…. Although can we just pause to acknowledge that 1) what a coincidence both their names are Martha and 2) what a shame it is that there is an entire generation who probably doesn’t know who Martha Stewart is???? No lie, I was once asked if I could meet two people (dead or alive) who would I choose? And I seriously said Jesus and Martha Stewart….. anyways.

If you aren’t familiar with this particular part of the Bible, here it is:

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

First, I’d like to take a pause here and insert my husband’s name into this passage at times for Mary…. I know it is a running joke that right before a party all husband’s find the most absurd thing to “help” with… like cleaning the gutters. My husband has taken it one step further and is now indoctrinating our kids. We were about to host people the other day and my oldest decided that was the perfect time to clean his room… nope, he decided he needed to use the backpack blower to rake leaves.

In all seriousness though I sympathize with Martha in this passage. She’s doing all the work, and she just wants some help. However, the Lord urgently says that Martha isn’t focused on the right thing, but Mary is. (I always choose to think Jesus said it not in a harsh, loud urgent way… but more of a “oh my dear child, listen to me” way).

Anyways, the gist is that Jesus wasn’t going to tell Mary to stop listening to Him in order to help Martha.

In a lot of devotionals and sermons on this passage it is pointed out that we all need to stop worrying about this world, and the to-do lists, and we need to rest in the eternal peace only Jesus can bring. We need to focus on the one thing that is needed. Jesus. Which is 100% true.

However……

Let me point out a few things.

  • Jesus went to MARTHA’S house. Not Mary’s, not their brother Lazarus’ house. Martha’s.

My non-bible school interpretation of this? Jesus was hungry and tired, and he knew Martha could cook and take care of him and his whole gang of friends. Do you know how rare it was that it was Martha’s house during that time? A woman’s house? Rare, friend, rare. Martha made Jesus and his disciples felt so taken care of that they dropped in (somewhat) unannounced. Probably more than once.

  • Martha was loved by Jesus.

In John 11, in another passage Martha’s brother was sick and ended up dying and Jesus took His time to get to them. In the description of the family (Martha, Mary, and Lazarus) it is said “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” (John 11:5). I mean we are all loved by Jesus….. but it’s called out here to show just how close they are. Which means Martha knew God (and His word), loved God and loved His son, Jesus.

  • Jesus never told her to stop hosting or caring for others in her home…. She was told to stop worrying about it.

That might not seem like a big difference but to me it is.

A few years back I had a lot of shame when it came to this. I listened to those sermons and devotions saying, “Be a Mary in a Martha World”. So, I decided I’d try that advice. It was right before a party we were hosting. I remember vowing I was going to be a “Mary” not a “Martha”. I picked up the house a little, made some basic food, and settled in to sit like Mary did. Want to know what happened? My husband straight up panicked and thought I was mad at him because I didn’t give him his pre-party to-do list, my kids asked what activities I had planned, and I didn’t enjoy sitting as much as I thought I would.

My husband likes my to-do list (usually, I mean… as long as a house project isn’t on it), it tells him exactly what to do. In fact, if someone could tell me in detail exactly what to do I think I’d like that too.. anyways…. Also, my kids like when I plan fun traditions and make things special. And yes, they might get embarrassed taking in mini piñatas and nachos to their teachers, but you can bet they ask me what I am doing this year for their teachers.

Turns out I am a Martha.

And that is ok.

Jesus never asked Martha to not be Martha. Jesus saw Martha. Like He really saw her. He knew she was the one He could count on to take care of him. He knew she had an amazing gift for hosting and making people feel welcomed. AND He knows that the kingdom needs that. I mean most Churches have a whole hospitality team to make people feel welcomed and feel taken care of.

Christian’s all have a gift or talent we’ve been entrusted with to further God’s kingdom. Maybe yours is encouraging people, or maybe it is teaching, or helping or maybe it is healing, wisdom, prophecy, faith… there are several guys. And as it turns out in order to reach the MOST people to tell them about Jesus, we need all the gifts.

One person might shut down if you start teaching them right away. They might need to see you helping in action to realize they can trust the God you serve. But another person might need facts and truth, they value wisdom and although they acknowledge emotions, they like taking emotions out of decisions.

Here’s the thing, what Jesus was talking about to Martha… is that she needed to stop worrying about the task and focus on the reason. Not change her task per-se.

This means;

  • You might have to recognize that your need to be “right” or “seen” isn’t near as important as making sure the person comes to know Jesus.
  • You have to recognize when someone else’s gifting might be better in a situation. WE have to work together.
  • You can’t let your gifting be used for the wrong purpose or even “just because”. Your talent is a direct gift from God, use it for Him.
  • If you start to worry and stress about “doing” whatever you think you’re called to do, you need to re-exam if you have your priorities right.

Martha started to use her gift in a way that wasn’t accomplishing what she was meant to use it for. Her purpose was to serve Jesus. She did that usually very well, by serving his physical needs. But her sister is different and Martha can’t push that on her sister.

That’s what Jesus was telling Martha. He was saying; “Martha serve me whole heartedly, like your sister is doing right now.” He didn’t say serve me differently than how you are, just keep the main point the main point. Which is always Jesus.

I am proud to be a Martha. But from time to time, I do need the reminder that my calling is to be a child of God and to lead others to know Jesus, not to just host parties for no reason. However, if you do need a wooden sled to decorate with, themed dinnerware, baby girl shower décor, or just a place to drink fancy coffee from my coffee bar and talk about Jesus… I have that covered.

 

 

 

Faith

Bitter or Better

Sam

Story time…… When I was about 6, my older brother and I were playing at my grandparents’ farm, my cousins could’ve been there, who knows. Anyways, we were playing Survivor. And I got the bright idea to collect these grapes for our “food”. Here’s a few things to note 1) these grapes were not ripe, not even close 2) my grandpa had this grape bush for as long as I could remember but never once did I get to taste a grape from it, did he hoard the grapes for himself? Was he secretly making wine with the grapes? Did birds get the grapes before he could ever get to them? I will never know… all I know is that 3) these grapes were off limits.

So yeah, not the brightest idea I ever had, but alas I plucked these grapes off the bush and added them to our stockpile. Of course my grandpa comes around about that time, looks at the grapes, looks at the bush, looks at me, looks back at the grapes, then me, then the bush, then me, then the grapes…… and well let’s just say I started to think that maybe he’d never had these grapes either and by the look on his face it was one more year he wasn’t going to get to taste them…. because of me……

My grandpa was unique in his discipline at this moment. He decided that my punishment was eating these unripe grapes. I can’t really describe the bitter taste and hard texture…… let’s just say that I have no idea why he cared so much about those grapes.

You might be thinking at this point I am about to go in the direction of talking about self-control, not stealing, or maybe you’re just hung up on whatever happened to that grape bush (spoiler: no clue, they just cut it down one day- probably because the grapes were gross but whose to say)…… but no, I want to talk about the bitterness.

Truth be told, I’ve held a lot of bitterness in my life at times. I try not to stay there, but it is a by-product of being offended.

To illustrate this I am going to use a story from the Bible….. and one you probably aren’t thinking of. I want to talk about Jonah. Yeah, the guy swallowed by the whale, or fish. If you’ve read a kids Bible, this is one of the stories that’s pretty easy to make an illustration about. It’s a guy, who gets swallowed by a large fish that I assume is a whale….. wild story but easy to picture in your mind. If you don’t know the story let me give you some highlights (SC version, aka Sam Cribbet Version)

  • God tells Jonah to preach to this evil town.
  • Jonah nopes the heck out of town and runs very far in the opposite direction across a sea (just as an FYI if I was running from God I would not be anywhere near water… He literally parts the seas, but to each their own)
  • The weather turns terrible and the guys on the boat are like WHAT THE HECK… this isn’t a normal storm so they know someone did something bad.
  • Meanwhile Jonah is like, yeah it was me, I’m gonna take a nap.
  • The guys were like “Jonah get the heck up!”
  • Jonah was like, “yeah this is my fault throw me overboard.”
  • The guys were like, hold up, say what? How about we just row back to shore vs. tossing you over.
  • God was like, nah you can’t get back to shore.
  • So the guys were like, walk the plank Jonah.
  • Then the giant fish eats him and he lives inside it for 3 days.
  • He prays a great prayer, saying sorry for running.
  • The fish throws him up. He does NOT take a shower, at least the Bible doesn’t reference one… gross.
  • Then Jonah goes to the evil city and tells them about God.
  • EVERYONE in the city believes Jonah and starts to love God so God does not destroy the city.

And this is usually where the kid’s version of the Bible stops. We like to talk about how we need to obey what God has called us to do…… however, the book of Jonah does not stop here….

  • Jonah gets angry at God and he’s all like “I KNEW IT! I KNEW that if I told these ungrateful people in this city about God they would change their ways”. Jonah then says (again SC Version) “It isn’t fair! I am going to go pout on this hill over here and I really hope you come through God and punch them in the face”.
  • Then God is like “Seriously?” God gives Jonah a shade plant on the hill because I guess it was hot, and Jonah is thankful, then God makes it wither and die.
  • Then Jonah is like “Ugh I want that plant back”
  • The end.

Confused? Looking for your kid’s Bible right now to see if I am lying? Googling Veggie Tales “Jonah and the Whale”?

Yeah, crazy story right? When I look at this story I think the crazy part is not the dude being swallowed by the whale, or taking a nap in a hurricane… no I think the ending is bizarre…. But I get it. Because I’ve been Jonah a time… or two… or seven.

But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?” “It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.” (Jonah 4:9)

I have been really bitter and angry about things in my past. Things that when I look back at it, I have every right to be angry about. I’ve been lied to, stolen from, taken advantage of, physically abused, mentally abused…. Yeah, I have been pretty angry about my life at times. I’ve uttered the phrase “It isn’t fair” about a dozen times…. THIS WEEK.

Here’s what you have to know though. Here’s what the book of Jonah is teaching us…. As I’ve heard from multiple people this week… “you can stay bitter, or you can get better”.

And that’s the bottom line. You are going to have terrible things happen in this life. A death, a sickness, or even intentional evilness brought upon you. We live in a fallen, broken world, full of fallen, broken people.

And you have two options. 1) you can choose to stay there and blame others and hold unforgiveness in your heart or 2) you can choose to surrender it to God, move on, and start the road to healing and recovery.

God gave Jonah so many chances. He gave him the calling and ability to preach to an entire city (which was supposedly pretty large) and they all listened and turned toward God. It should have been such an amazing story. But here’s the thing, the city Jonah was preaching to? Yeah, it was a city that totally destroyed cities near Jonah. The people of that evil city, probably killed and did worse to people Jonah knew. He hated that city, and for good reasons too.

So instead of seeing God’s goodness, which Jonah knew intimately…. In fact Jonah declared “I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.” So Jonah knew, that God would spare the city… but Jonah wasn’t interested in that. No Jonah, wanted human like judgment to fall on his enemy who had made him suffer so much.

I think Christian’s have the hardest time with this. We want a God who fights our battles, who slays our enemies, who holds those who do wrong accountable- which He is and does… but God? God ultimately wants everyone to love Him. So when it comes down to someone who has truly wronged you… do you want what God wants? Do you want them to know God, and not in some “bless your heart” passive-aggressive way, but in a true transformative way? Or do you want them punished?

Let me tell you what God thinks……

He thinks that He gave Jonah the shade plant…. even though Jonah didn’t tend to it, make it grow, provide the soil or water, Jonah did nothing for this tree…. and so why does Jonah have the right to be mad God took it away and let it wither and die? (Jonah 4:10-11)

Still confused?

Let me tell you what God has given you…

God has given you the tree of life, with perfect shade, and rest. It has perfectly ripe fruit with no bitterness, that is available to ANYONE.

He gave you a perfect lamb, a perfect sacrifice, when all you have done is murder, steal, lie, and offend Him time and time again. So when He extends that same grace, the beautiful grace of Jesus’ blood over your sins, to another person… what right do you have to be mad?

The grapes I ate on that afternoon when I was 6 were so very bitter. I can only imagine (and I am still imagining because like I said I don’t think anyone ever ate any of those grapes) that if I would have let go of the bitterness and waited until the grapes were ripe before I picked them, that I would have had a much better experience (or rather my grandpa would’ve picked a different punishment)…. But I digress…

Friends, all I am saying (to me and you) is let go of your bitterness, embrace that the forgiveness you have received is the same that God offers to all, and go on to have an amazing fruitful life.

Faith

The Rich Fool

Sam

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

Because writing this blog has been like ripping off a band-aid…. I thought why not just add one more confession to the never ending list of things I have (sometimes still do) struggle with. I am not sure how to gently glide into this subject- so instead I am just going to share a story with you…..

So, my dad used to own about 55 acres that he inherited, this was half of the entire farm my grandma and grandpa owned before they passed away. It was where I spent a majority of my childhood. It has a creek in the back, hills, pasture fields, crops, wild blackberry bushes, and some of the best memories of when I was a kid.

At one point it was my dad’s dream to build there- but life just didn’t give him that opportunity. He was always generous with the land though and at one point offered Kyle and I some land to build on around the same time we bought our first house. We weren’t in the position financially that we could build at that point so we instead bought a house closer to where my husband worked and realized that was the area God was calling us to.

Fast forward a few years and we were at a point where we were deciding what do to about our house. We were constantly looking at houses and just trying to figure out what was next for our family. My older brother was at this point too and he had settled on building. His kids were going to the school district the land my dad owned was in, and my brother had the same dream as my dad to build on the property that had been in our family for generations. So my dad gifted him all 55 acres. My dad asked me first if I’d be mad about it. But my brother and I had seen families divided over inheritances and we promised we wouldn’t do that.

To recap:

  • We were offered the land at one point in time.
  • It wasn’t in the school district or area where it made sense for us to build.
  • My brother actually wanted the land so he could use it.

So between the pact I made with my brother and the fact that I never fully intended to do anything with the land I said it didn’t bother me. Guess what? It did bother me. Oh and what’s more it escalated even further with every update I received on the gorgeous house my brother was building.

My jealousy quickly turned to every evil practice- like James so wisely points out in the Bible. I started judging my brother, I’d turn my nose up to certain things he did, and I gossiped and let more than one person know all of this. In fact, a decent amount of my friends sympathized and agreed with me. I was being wronged.

I let this irrational jealousy that my brother got something I didn’t build up to a point that I was angry at my brother (who did nothing wrong) and my dad (who also did nothing wrong). I wasn’t entitled to that land, my dad could do whatever he wanted with it.  And my brother was just doing what was best for his family- something I should want because they were my family too.

Finally, I was kind of at a boiling point and I yelled at my dad at Skyline- the place we go after church every Sunday, because he had the audacity to tell me I was acting jealous. Once we were in the car Kyle told me I had to let it go. What was done was done, and that our family (Kyle, the boys, and I) were going to be OK no matter if we had that land or not. FYI, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

Usually, at the first sign of trouble you should go to God. Actually, at the sign of joy, sorrow, trouble or just because it’s a Tuesday you should go to God. But I was so deep in my jealous rampage and I didn’t want to hear what God had to say so He was the last person I turned to. But after my hissy fit in Skyline and pouting on the ride home because Kyle didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear I decided that I would try to stop being jealous. I wish you could see me writing this because you’d know that the “try” I am talking about includes deep sighs and eye rolling.

However, God is really good to me. He truly chases after me and tries to herd me back into His flock when I go astray. Because the next week (post dramatic Skyline meltdown) I was in charge of teaching Sunday School at church and the story our curriculum said I had to teach was Luke 12:13-21. I wasn’t familiar with this parable so maybe you aren’t either- let me just tell you what the first verse is…

Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”

The name of this parable is called The Rich Fool. I have tears in my eyes telling you all this. Guys, I am such a rich fool. I have an abundance of things, material things that mean nothing. And I have real things that mean everything. I have a husband who guides me daily to be a better person. I have kids who are witty and loving- ones who ask me for 6 hugs a day then after I give them those 6 hugs they tell me they meant 7 hugs. I have a career that I still pinch myself that I was given. I have the best friends- even ones who are nice enough to feel wronged for me! I have family (biological, adopted, and married into) that show me everyday how much they love me and give me unconditional support.

To think that at one point I was letting my jealousy of something material like land get in the way of some of the most important relationships in my life: with my dad and my brother and most importantly God. I can’t help but know that if I was in the crowd that day with Jesus he would have yelled at me that I was being foolish. That I wasn’t concentrating on what really mattered and was instead giving into greed. Thankfully, through His grace I was given yet another chance to put away my jealousy and just rely on Him. He gave my heart comfort and he gave me peace. In fact, verse 17 in James 3 that I shared at the beginning of this post continues on and says “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”

Maybe you aren’t struggling with jealousy over land, or maybe you don’t even struggle with jealousy at all. But is there something on your heart right now that you just can’t shake? An offense that you keep bringing up? Let me save you from an awkward Skyline temper tantrum; God can replace your jealousy, envy, or whatever offense you carry and give you hope, peace, and a love that is full of mercy. I don’t know about you, but I am trying to get better at taking Him up on His offer.