Have you ever heard this saying before? I guess it means that something might seem really easy at first but when you dive into it, it’s actually more complex than you thought and within those complexities are where issues or the “devil” resides.
You know….. I have never really related much to that phrase because I love details. That’s where I thrive. To come up with an idea is so painstaking for me. I am not very creative, but man, you give me an idea and ask me to make it happen- that is right up my alley!
That is one reason I love Pinterest so much. There are a million posts on how someone came up with these super clever life hacks- that honestly make me question some things-like I’ve had long hair almost my entire life and never once thought “you know it would be a good idea to put a pony tail holder on the end of the vacuum hose and suck my hair up in it”………. anyways like I said I would never ever think to do half the creative things they think up. But now that someone else has came up with the idea I love to pick apart the details and apply it to my life, and in rare cases even improve upon it.
So although I don’t really get why someone would think the details are hard, I do think the Devil is in the details in another way.
Have you ever been going to sleep and all of a sudden you start thinking about the one time someone gave you a gift and you said the rudest thing ever in reply vs. thank you? Hmmmm…… or you remember one of those embarrassing times you called someone the wrong name and not only did you call them the wrong name but others started calling them that wrong name too? Have you went back to your college to give soon to be graduates advice and totally bombed it, then remember every stupid thing you said for the next 5 years? Yeah. I can vividly remember, in perfect detail– and I have a feeling you can too- a lot of embarrassing things we have done in the past. Things that bring us shame. Things that makes us not want to get out of bed. Or in my case lead to an unhealthy amount of late night infomercial watching because of insomnia.
It’s kind of interesting to me that all the past memories that keep me up at night, the ones that pop up when I really don’t want them to, are always bad memories for me. I honestly can’t think of a time (recently) where out of the blue I remembered something amazing I did. Or something that makes me proud of myself. I mean, I know I do things that are “good” but I usually don’t focus on that. Usually if I see a picture or video or something else visually that reminds me of my accomplishments it jogs my memory and I smile. But to just be going to bed at night and something good pops into my head? Yeah, no, that doesn’t happen.
I’m going to be honest and call it out for what it is. I think it’s the Devil. I think for me, this is where the Devil’s in the details.
He is so good at making us feel shame. He is so good at reminding us that we should feel embarrassment. He literally makes us focus on and remember all the terrible things we’ve done and tells us that “This is who you are. The person who does embarrassing things- that is you.” and what’s more for me he usually also follows it up with “This is who other people think you are too. An awkward, embarrassing, insecure, loud, obnoxious, over-weight loser”.
I’m not going to lie. This kind of makes me mad at myself. I feel like I try to guard my heart so the Devil doesn’t have a foothold. I love God. I want no part of the Devil….. and yet he’s here and he wrecks havoc on my identity and self esteem. Sometimes to the point of physical health problems like anxiety or insomnia.
I really struggle with this. I’m trying to get better, without the use of melatonin, so that I can be more content like God calls me to be. I haven’t found the cure all but I know these few things have helped:
- Calling it out. I am a firm believer that the Devil is real and that his real power lies in the way he manipulates us without us even knowing it. So for me, calling him out, and denouncing him is helpful. I do this when he encourages me to be fearful too. I just tell him that my God is bigger.
- Praying. God is more powerful than the Devil. You have the ultimate weapon against the Devil and his manipulation. Use it.
- Get some back up. I was just talking about this with my small group tonight. We were all saying about how amazing it is to have others that hold you accountable and also encourage you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reached out to them and they’ve built me up, validated my feelings, but told me that I wasn’t allowed to stay in that mindset.
So something interesting I found out when I began to write this post. According to Wikipedia (I’m not a student anymore so this is a legit source to me), the saying the “Devil’s in the details” actually derives from an older saying “God’s in the Details”. What a more comforting saying. I am not sure if you too lay awake and think of every embarrassing moment you’ve had since you were 4 like me, but please know this; we can decide to let God take care of our details. He will tell us that our identity doesn’t lie in all the things that the Devil tries to make us believe about ourselves. The detail God wants us to know is that we are His and we are loved. And that’s a detail that can help me sleep a little better.
