I have control issues.

There are two things that I have always said keep me from having a better relationship with God: control and not realizing how powerful God is. You might be thinking- wow! only two things?! This person has it together! Or maybe you are a rock star Christian and you are already scrolling to the comment section to provide me with the perfect Bible versus. Whichever camp you are in, hear me out here as I try to dive into one of my major struggles..

Relax, nothing is under control- unknown

I think that a majority of our worldly struggles come in the form of control. Either we thrive off it, we give it to someone who doesn’t deserve it (our kids, our spouse, social media, etc.), or better yet we don’t give it to who actually should have it.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

I basically have all these control issues. All of them.

Have you ever made a to-do list for your to-do list? No? Well, how about put things on your list just to be able to cross it off? Or the thoughts “if I just try a little harder”, “if I just could get my husband to clean up after himself a little”, or “if I can just get the kids to listen”. Maybe it comes out like this: if I can just power my way through this hard part of my life- it will all be OK.

I have a thought every other day (or every other hour) that starts with the word I when it comes to whatever part of my life that’s hit a rough patch. I put a lot of power into what I can do in a situation.

I thrive off control. I really do. When I feel in control of a situation life is a little better. When I tell my kids what to do and they do it, I feel powerful. When I get to sit at my desk at work and accomplish my to-do list in an orderly fashion the world is amazing! My husband, who is truly a gift from God, is great about giving into my control. He knows it means more to me than him, so he lets go of the things he can’t control. I mean who wouldn’t like to feel in control of what happens to them?

But do you know what the issue of thriving off control (or back in my un-Christian like days I liked to call a Type-A personality) creates? It means that when I am not in control the world is terrible. When my kids have been told to get buckled in the car 14 times and instead are looking for a lost toy under the seat, or my husband remembers the 3 things he was supposed to do right before we leave the house (like take the trash out) and makes us late, or work is a hot mess of fires to put out- so much so that I can’t even do my daily tasks……well… I feel out of control. When I feel out of control I yell, I become bitter, I am not the wife, mom, or friend I know I was designed to be.

Or how about a worst case scenario. Something truly terrible happens. Like a child’s sickness, a close family member or friend’s death, or someone who you trusted takes advantage of that trust. What is your reaction when you can’t control a situation like that? It breaks you. And if it doesn’t break you- you are constantly looking for the part in the situation that you can control. Now don’t get me wrong- looking for the parts you can control is a great coping mechanism and is a needed life skill. What I am talking about is how needing control can control you.

I don’t want this yo-yo of back and forth emotions where one minute I am happy because I am in control and the next I am not. I don’t want my happiness to depend on other people either, like when my kids are good (and I use this term lightly) then I feel like a good mom or if my marriage is not doing the best then that must mean I am a failure. I want to be a naturally happy person.

So how do you become happy? Although, there are so many examples I can give you, I choose to leave you with this: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5).

God wants you to be happy. He has filled pages upon pages of words with encouragement and instruction of how to do so. In Matthew he even writes us a to-do list (control freaks rejoice!) One way of obtaining that happiness is to become meek, or submissive. Simply put: you give it to God.

I challenge you to give up your fear, your control issues, any and all crosses you bear and follow Him. I can’t speak for you, but I know I am happier because of it.